How Self Care is vital for a Successful, Happy Life!

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I was taught from an early age to work hard, push yourself harder and give life and work all you got! In order to be the best you must never slack off.  If I did I felt lazy.  While all of these are great attributes, they can also create an unrealistic expectation on yourself and cause serious damage to your well being and success.

Maybe you have a ton of projects piling up at home, you’re overwhelmed at work and your calendar is packed with and unending array of tasks.  To make room for all of this stuff, you skip lunch, stop going working out, and forget about your social life.  When we’re stressed, self care is usually the first thing to go. And that only makes things worse!

As indulgent as the phrase “self care” may sound, it’s just a few basic habits that are crucial to your functioning.  Most of us grew up believing that the more you sacrifice, the bigger the reward.  I learned a hard lesson that I want others to avoid.  I pushed myself so hard that at the age of 28, while trying to be super mom, ended up with a severe spinal injury that left me bed ridden for over 10 years!

The point is, it’s easy to take the “hard work pays off” adage too far, to the point that it becomes counterproductive. Your abilities are worn. Your skills aren’t as sharp. You lose focus. You might think you’re working hard, and maybe you are in some ways, but you’re not working efficiently.

Self Care Isn’t Just Important, It’s Crucial

It’s easy to neglect taking care of ourselves because when we’re busy and overwhelmed, even a small reprieve feels like a luxury. So actually taking time to eat lunch, exercise, and hang out with friends? That just feels like slacking.

That mindset backfires, though. Self care actually helps you make progress faster for a few reasons:

Sometimes I treat self care as a reward. I’m so hungry I can barely think, but I’ll force myself to finish a batch of work before I eat lunch. What I’m really doing is making my job more difficult by allowing myself to run on fumes.

In other words, self care is not a reward. It’s part of the process. Sometimes we get so used to “rewarding ourselves” with lunch or even a trip to the bathroom, though, that we forget exactly what it means to take care of ourselves.

Make Time to Eat Well and Exercise, Even If You’re Busy

It’s easy to neglect exercise when you’re overextended because exercise requires time, energy, and often a change of clothes or trip to the shower. It’s daunting, messy, and uncomfortable.

It’s important, though, so you want to make time for it in your daily routine. Consider teaming up with a workout buddy or a group to hold yourself accountable. Find a gym that’s close to work, or better yet, along your commute. This way, you get a workout and you beat traffic. Of course, no matter how busy or unmotivated you are, sometimes you just have to get up and do it.

Everyone wants to eat well and find food that’s good for them, but it’s hard to cook or plan meals when you’re busy. When I have a ton on my plate to get done, I’m much more likely to reach for the quick fixes with no nutrition rather than make myself a salad.

It’s also hard enough to eat healthy in a world filled with processed food. Start small. Do you want to eat less sugar? Control your carb intake? Focus on one area at a time rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet at once.

Also, sometimes eating junk feels like self care. I sometimes “treat” myself with a handful of chocolate chips.  Nothing wrong with the occasional indulgence, but in contrast,  don’t think of healthy food as the enemy. This really involves changing the way you think about eating well entirely, but you can start by experimenting with healthy foods you might actually like, and not trying to force yourself to eat stuff you hate just because it’s healthy.

The physical aspect is obviously important, but when a lot of people talk about self care, they’re talking about emotional health: dealing with stress, anxiety, sadness, depression. And that’s probably because we tend to ignore it more. As psychologist Guy Winch asks, “We brush and floss but what daily activity do we do to maintain our psychological health?” When you’re feeling any kind of intense emotion—stress or anger, for instance—it helps to take quick break to process it. What exactly are you feeling?

Try to set aside a minute to acknowledge your feelings, even if it’s just admitting that you feel rejected.  Stop what your doing, walk away for a second, and pinpoint the feeling. Acknowledging it serves a practical purpose. For one, it forces you to slow down and think more rationally. It’s like taking a break. When my kids were little, we called it a “time out”.  It also keeps your emotions from taking over even more.

Keeping a journal is a good idea, too. It’s cathartic. And in a study from the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment researchers found that journaling for 15–20 minutes helped study participants cope with traumatic, stressful, or emotional events.  I personally journaled every day the ten years I was bed ridden. And it helped tremendously! You want to take time to deal with your feelings so you can control and release them.  Controlling them means acknowledging and understanding them.

Protect Your Schedule

When I work too many hours and push myself too hard,  I become stressed, irritable and unfocused. This is common, according to research from John Pencavel of Stanford University (PDF). He found that after about 50 hours of work, employee productivity and output plummets. Protecting your schedule often means learning to say no to things, which can be tough.

Do you try to squeeze too much in your schedule? One way to combat this is to create empty space in your schedule. This way, if a task takes longer than expected or something else comes up, you’ve budgeted the extra time for it. Leave room for margin.

Make sure you squeeze some time in your schedule for yourself too!  Create some down time in your schedule to devote to activities you enjoy: reading, catching up on your favorite shows, getting out in nature. Whatever helps you relax and feel good. Block that time in your calendar, too. Then, do everything you can to protect that time.

Self care is vital to be productive, happy, and successful, and to live a more meaningful and joy filled life! If this article resonates with you and you feel you could benefit from extra support, as a life coach strategist I can help! I will support, encourage and empower you get you the result you want at an accelerated rate! Call today for your complimentary Discovery Coaching Session today!

LauraBeth Ryan